Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go.
That's right. Daddy and Uncle Joey are going on a trip today.
We're going to a conference in Barbados. Right? Can you say, "Barbados"?
Barbados.
Okay. I've gotta say, it means so much to me that you guys are coming...
...all the way over there to hear me give my speech.
And I have a surprise. I had to pull some strings...
...but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference. That's right!
These babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Do you have anything that will get us out of them?
David will probably want to hear a few lectures.
- Right, because he's a scientist. - No, no.
He's been in Minsk for eight years. If he gets too much direct sunlight...
...he'll die.
- Wow, this place is beautiful! - Look at all these paleontologists!
I know. There are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow.
My God, I can't believe you're here! Dr. Geller? I am such a huge fan.
I can't wait for your keynote speech.
- Wow! This is very flattering. - I would love your autograph.
Well, sure.
- "Dear...?" - Sarah.
"Sarah. I dig you."
- "Dr. Ross Geller." - Oh, thank you so much.
Sure. Sarah, I'd like you to introduce you to my colleague, Professor Wheeler.
- And this is Joey Tribbiani. - Are you a paleontologist?
No, God, no, no. I'm an actor.
You probably recognize me from a little show called The Days of Our Lives.
- I'm sorry. I don't own a TV. - You don't own a TV?
What's all your furniture pointed at?
I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip.
I should go too. Now, tomorrow do you want to share a cab to the airport...
...or should Mike and I meet you?
Mike? Who's Mike?
- Mike's your ex-boyfriend. - That's right!
Oh, yeah. Wow, I had totally forgotten about him.
- That's a blast from the past, huh? - No, it's okay. Honest mistake.
It really doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know...
...Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time.
- She does? - Let's get you out of here.
Well, at least you took me down with you.
I'm so sorry. I just... I keep thinking about Mike.
I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together.
Why? Why do I miss Mike? That's just... That's gonna go away, right?
- Well, I guess. In time. - Yeah.
I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.
You just did it again. Chandler. Your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone.
Boy, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, huh?
I wouldn't read too much into it.
Still, a girl calls you by her ex-boyfriend's name...
...that's not a good thing, right? - Let me stop you there.
Because I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice.
See, if you want advice, go to Ross or Monica. Or Joey...
...for advice about pizza toppings or a burning sensation when you pee.
I'm sorry, I just wish there was something I could do, you know?
- Well, you know Phoebe... - Seriously, we're gonna do this?
- Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? - Because his penis was too big.
I'm sorry. That's the kind of thing I do.
They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married.
What if you let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
That's great. That's great. I'll propose to her.
- No, I didn't mean now. - Well, why not? It's brilliant.
"Goodbye, Mike. We'll see you at the wedding, fella."
- Well, thank you, Chandler. Sincerely. - Well, you're welcome. Glad I could help.
- How do you think I should propose? - I'm pretending to read here.
I'm sorry.
Yeah. How you doing? Hey, how are you?
You said you were gonna wear a thong. Where's the thong?
I didn't mean a thong. I meant thongs.
You really should have been more clear about that.
You're never gonna guess who I just saw downstairs.
Britney Spears!
Yeah. She never misses these conferences.
- No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz! - Oh, my God!
- I know! - Did you talk to him?
Oh, yeah. What am I gonna say to Kenneth Schwartz?
You could say, " Hey, Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?"
- You ready to go? - You're gonna go now?
- I thought we could hang out. - I can't. I have seminars all day.
I promised Ross I'd look at his speech.
But maybe we could have dinner later? Out on the balcony? It'll be romantic.
- Will you wear a thong? - I will if you will.
You got yourself a very weird deal.
I'm good. I have dinner plans.
- So you gonna be okay? - Yeah, yeah.
I got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming.
Joe, have you looked outside?
No. Why?
Oh, man.
That Mike thing was interesting. I don't know what's gonna happen...
...with Phoebe and David. - I do. David's gonna propose to Phoebe.
What? Why?
Because we were talking about ways he could beat Mike...
...and I told him Phoebe wanted to get married.
Chandler, we have talked about this.
You are not supposed to give people advice!
Couldn't you have made some inappropriate joke?
I did! A penis one!
Just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?
They've only been going out for a few weeks.
Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike. I mean, she'll say no...
...David's heart will be broken, it'll be too hard for them to recover...
...and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Man, that's some bad advice.
I don't want to alarm anybody...
...but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.
Okay. When I go places with high humidity...
...it gets a little extra body, okay?
That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.
I'll show you guys where to check in.
Oh, honey? Can you make sure we get a king-size bed?
Oh, David, get one for us too. Oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one.
And with mirrors on the ceiling.
And make sure our room isn't next to theirs.
Oh, you guys are so lucky you're here with people.
You know, it's just such a romantic place.
I just wish I could share it with a guy.
- Not Joey. - Not Joey. No.
- I was just lusting after Chandler. - Yeah, right.
So... I'm proposing to Phoebe tonight.
Tonight?
Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond?
That's one-seventieth of a carat.
And the clarity is quite poor.
Nice.
- Monica, can I talk to you for a second? - Okay.
David's gonna propose to Phoebe tonight.
See what happens when you give people advice?
- Well, I hope you told him not to. - That would be advice!
Okay, fine. I'll handle this.
- Phoebe? - Yeah?
- I need to talk to you. - Are you leaving the Supremes?
Okay, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice.
David's gonna propose to you tonight.
Wow, really?
That's fantastic!
What? Are you serious? You want to marry him?
- What about Mike? - Oh, okay, you want me to marry Mike?
Let's just gag him and handcuff him...
...and force him down the aisle, okay?
I can just see it. "Mike, do you take Phoebe?"
"...computer imaging, we can, in a very real way...
...bring the Mesozoic Era into the 21 st century."
It's great. You'll be the hit of the conference.
It'll be even better tomorrow...
...because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey...
...checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet.
- Hey, guys. - The chocolates aren't here.
Damn it!
Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic.
Oh, is it on the computer? Because I'd love to give it a read.
If you want to check your e-mail, just ask.
What? May I?
What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for dino week...
...nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.
- The wet season is June to December. - It's not the time, Charlie.
Oh, no. No, no! Dear God, no!
What, did someone outbid you for the teapot?
Secret teapot.
Your computer. I don't know what... Everything's gone.
- What do you mean? - Must be a virus.
I think it erased your hard drive.
What? Oh, my God. What did you do?
Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
- Why? Why would you open it? - Well, it didn't say, "This is a virus."
- What did it say? - "Nude..."
"Pictures of Anna Kournikova."
- I'm so sorry. - What am I gonna do?
- My speech is gone! - It's not gone.
I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy?
No, I don't!
Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now.
- I just feel awful. - Yeah, you should.
Nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? She's never even won a major tournament.
Well, I tried Billie Jean King, but...
You know, you and Monica have the same I'm-gonna-kill-you look.
I can usually make it go away by kissing her.
Get out.
I can't believe this is happening.
I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow.
I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
You can use a speech I memorized for auditions.
I don't think your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now.
Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech.
- We can re-create it. - What, you really think we can do that?
Oh, wait. Joey and I are supposed to have dinner.
Don't worry about that. I mean, Ross needs you.
Rachel and I will stay and help any way we can.
All right. Okay, let's do it.
Well, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating.
And then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment...
...of the Mesozoic Era, the breakup of Pangaea. Hello?
And then there's the overview of the Triassic.
Any chance any of this happened in a galaxy far, far away?
Well, I hope you're happy. Phoebe's going to say yes to David.
- That's what happens when you meddle. - Phoebe's gonna say yes? That's great.
No, it's not. She's still in love with Mike.
- There's no chance that will work? - No, I called.
- It's not gonna happen. - Meddler! Meddler!
If you hadn't meddled to start with...
...then I wouldn't have had to go in and meddle myself.
No matter how much we meddle, we'll never be able to unmeddle...
...the thing that you meddled up in the first place!
This vacation sucks!
Hey, hey, hey, don't mind if I do.
I'm sorry, sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention.
You feel like going to a convention?
- We can't. We're not pharmacists. - I know we're not...
...but Frank Madaio and Eva...
- Kate Miller. - Kate Miller it is.
- Okay. - Oh, good...
And that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend.
Well, in that case, should I make sure it's on real good?
Thank you.
Oh, and then you said that thing about bringing the Mesozoic Era...
...into the 21 st century.
Well, yeah. That's it?
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. We did it.
Oh, this is amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much.
That's a pretty necklace.
Thank you.
Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne?
Yeah!
This is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son?
That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.
- Your first marriage? - Yeah.
You've been married more than once?
No.
Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.
I know. That old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Not enough pills in the world, Rach.
What about you, huh? You're the single one. See anybody in there you like?
Well, let's see. There was that really big guy that I was talking to...
...with the really nice breasts.
But what about back home? Anything going on there? Anybody you like?
No.
There is. You like someone. Tell me who.
- Tell me who it is. Come on. - No. Joey.
Who do you like? You're not getting away that easy.
- Who do you like? - Joey, come on!
It doesn't matter, you know? It's not like anything's gonna happen.
What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Okay. Okay. You really want to know who it is?
- Yeah. Who is it? - Do you?
- Oh, hey. - I just left you a message.
Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite...
...but now that you're here, we could have that dinner.
Right! Of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?
Yep! We got it. We got it. Thank you so much.
- I had a great time. - Yeah.
This isn't over, because I really want to know...
Later. Later.
- So shall we? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Good night.
Good night.
- Okay, good night. - Good night, Ross.
Phoebe, I have something I want to say.
You're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was unbearable.
Of course, the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help.
Sure. Okay. Yeah.
But, well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart.
So to that end...
- Oh, my God, Mike. - It's David, actually.
No, Mike's here.
Oh, hey, Mike.
Hi, David.
Chandler. Monic... Oh!
It's the humidity!
- Hi, Phoebe. - What are you doing here?
I have a question I need to ask you.
I have a question I was kind of gonna ask her myself.
Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Okay.
- Would you care for my seat as well? - Actually, yeah, that'd be great.
Well, that's fair, you've had a long trip.
Phoebe, I love you.
I've missed you so much these last few months.
I thought we were apart for a good reason...
...but I realized that there was no reason good enough...
...to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Now, I don't actually have a ring.
- I have a ring. - I wouldn't brag about that, big guy.
But, Phoebe...
...will you marry me?
No.
I love you, but I never needed a proposal from you.
I just needed to know we were headed somewhere.
- That we had a future. - We can have any future you want.
Okay, well, I'm gonna take off.
David, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
Just so I know, if I had asked first...?
Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would've been wrong.
Please, you don't have to explain.
I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk...
...things would have worked out for us, and I wouldn't have ruined my career.
Or lost that toe to frostbite.
It was a good trip.
- Is it okay if I hug you now? - Oh, yes.
Because of our meddling! All right?